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Is your child’s least favorite word, “no”? Do you dread saying the word because you know it’ll result in a tantrum? Do you give into demands just to avoid a tantrum? If you avoid trigger words and phrase your responses in a more positive way, you can avoid power struggles while simultaneously empowering your child. Remember, STAY CALM when responding to your child!

1. Use FIRST, THEN language and acknowledge what your child wants (Yes, I’m listening!)
  • I know you want [candy][to play]. First, eat your dinner, then you can [have candy][play]

2. Remind your child WHAT he/she should be doing right now, and then give CHOICES

  • It’s time for bed. You can decide though – you can [have candy][play] either right when you get home from school tomorrow, or after you finish tomorrow’s homework

3. Work as a TEAM to come up with a solution

  • [Candy][Playing with paint] is only for special occasions. Let’s think of a way you can earn it.


 


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